Being on the Autism Spectrum, I’ve always had problems speaking publicly and expressing my thoughts.

When I have something I want to say, my brain stops. I think of the potential consequences of my word choices. I am wording it correctly? Are they going to think I’m dumb? Are they going to hate me? Are they going to think I’m arrogant or cold? Is my lack of eye contact going to make me look narcissistic? Is it going to make me or them feel uncomfortable?

These thoughts are layered one after another, and my brain turns into a blurry, cloudy mess. I freeze, and when I finally speak I give a clunky, over produced response. I then get labeled as weird and the cycle continues. Some scenarios I’m met with understanding but because of the stigma surrounding the ASD community I feel like I’m being treated like a child and outcasted like Quasimodo.

The fact I am so self aware of the pattern makes it hard for me to come to terms with this. These interactions hurt. I want people to understand my art, I want to socialize and do things that other people in their 20s/30s are doing. I want to live a happy life. I want people to understand me and love me.

Model : Freddie Raven - @freddieravenmusic

Thank you Freddie for giving me the strength to express my feelings through photography.